What are family constellations?
I have been trying to answer this question for years, and whatever answer I can give, I always feel it is inadequate.
Because family constellations, in order to be truly understood, must be undergone, experienced, felt.
Through family constellations it is possible to explore themes in one’s own life and understand how much of what we experience is constructed upon the stories, fates and memories of those who have gone before us.
The first great gift that family constellations give to those who experience them is that they restore a sense of family that is much broader than the narrow view and perception that each of us has. All of us are used to considering “family” as parents, grandparents, maybe some even go so far as to include great-grandparents, but there we stop. Because we do not know the names, faces, stories, fates of those who came before them; we do not feel that we have any connection, any bond with these strangers.
And yet this is not the case.
Bert Hellinger, the father of family constellations, was the first to perceive the family as one big system, within which each person has his own role, his own place, both of which are functional to the whole system. Adherence to these “Orders” by each person determines the balance of the system. Violating them, on the contrary, generates dysfunctionality not only in the life of the individual, but in the whole system.
And not only this. For dysfunctionality will remain crystallized in the system as a “memory” and will project its effects on subsequent generations as well.
This concept, certainly not easy for many to embrace, now enjoys the support and feedback of science. Indeed, neuroscience has long shown that memories of trauma are transmitted from generation to generation through DNA.
This means, that each of us is an unconscious carrier of the memories of our own family system and that the difficulties, blockages, repetitive situations which we face in our lives, in whatever sphere, are often the unconscious repetition of the dysfunctional pattern of the system to which we belong.
It is worth adding that in addition to the great work of systematization of family constellations done by Hellinger, other insights by other scholars have, over the years, enriched this technique even more. One such insight is Anne Ancelin Schützenberger’s Psychogenealogy. This is a method of investigating family issues which aims to trace hidden links in the family tree, identifying connecting elements between different generations (see her book The Ancestor Syndrome).
In short, the work of family constellations allows the person to explore issues in his or her life and to understand their connection to the family system to which they belong. To do this, it is not necessary to be knowledgeable about the history or specific events of one’s family. It is precisely the constellation session that will “tell” the story to which one is attached, bringing to light, but more importantly unraveling, that knot that has been passed down from generation to generation, resulting in self-limiting or self-sabotaging dynamics.
Note:
– a family constellation session is not medical and/or therapeutic in nature;
– meetings with a family constellator take the form of a counseling relationship aimed at promoting well-being and personal development;
– no medical and/or psychological investigations, diagnoses or treatments are conducted during family constellation meetings and such meetings are not for therapeutic purposes;
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